Soniah Kamal

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'Islam is not Pakistan's religion; Marriage is'

Friday, March 5, 2010

Perinatal loss- a father's tale

Today I received my perinatal loss newsletter Caring and Coping published by Northside Hospital in Georgia. It's been three years since I lost my four month old in utero, but he lives in my heart as a soft, pearly cartilaginous little face with perfectly formed ears. I was alone in my loss. No one could understand why I was so devastated since 'it was only a fetus'. Today's newsletter includes a poem I want to share.

A Father's Grief
(Author Unknown)
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since 'men don't cry'
and 'men are strong.'
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
and field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she is going through.
But seldom to they take his hand,
'My friend, but how are you?'
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
he dries her tears and comforts her,
but 'stays strong' for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby- too.