Soniah Kamal

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'Islam is not Pakistan's religion; Marriage is'

Friday, April 4, 2008

Cook for your family three time a day, daily plus snacks?

I met a man who asked me if I cooked? No, at least not very often. But what does the family eat. Out, I said. He looked decidedly discomfited to be stuck in a car with a woman who did not look sufficiently guilty for not being connected more closely to her stove. I did feel guilty though, a little bit, as if some dirty part of me was out and about. This man, he'll be okay if his wife wants to work outside the house, that's her choice, but it's his choice that she cooks dinner too, daily because, he tells me in all earnestness, that's her duty, her first duty. At least, he grins, I'm honest about what I want? When I was his age I was honest but I didn't know what I wanted or how to disconnect my wants from what my parents wanted for me. And the girls that did know wanted really rich guys to marry them, that's all. Back then I'd given them the same look I gave the man today who asked me if I cooked. But between then and now there is a difference in emotions behind those siamese looks.


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