Soniah Kamal

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'Islam is not Pakistan's religion; Marriage is'

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Benazir Bhutto. Assasinated.

Its seems unbelievable. Benazir. Dead. Was it just the other day I was watching news snippets of BB speaking in Larkana and addressing herself as 'aap kee behen' to the Larkana folk and me jesting that aap kee behen needs new glasses (because I do need new glasses, and have always been fascinated by the veritable goggles Benazir always wore: in her last speech though, the goggles were replaced by glasses which suited her face-- and I wonder, what happens to those glasses, and I feel sadder and sicker.)

I feel sick with sadness, and loss, and for her kids. How does one sit down with one's children and say 'beta, this field that I'm in, it could get me assassinated." How does a child, no matter what family legacy dictates, reconcile with the fact that, as much as their parent loves them, they continued in this potentially life threatening field. With anguish at their parent being something other than simply Mom or Dad? Or pride at their parent's convictions? Or a bit of both?

-this is not how politicians should die. in Pakistan. anywhere.
- Benazir was such a fixture on the political scene...
My Khaloo used to be Benazir's speech writer. I met her at a dinner party at their place. During the customary 'foto with the family' session she sat the middle of a sofa with us 'family' surrounding her. Later my Khala hung a blow up in her living room. When you see BB, day after day, on your Aunt's living room wall sitting amidst your family, she becomes part of it, for an odd moment, too.

Today I feel very Pakistani.
Today I am a Pakistani.
In grief.

22 others also lost their lives during the assassination.

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